Kabouterland

Kabouterland. Dutch word that you will not find in dictionaries. Consists of two separate nouns: kabouter and land. For the translation, we'll start with the easiest: land. Means country. No surprises there. Then the second. Kabouter. Means gnome. They inhabit a place called Gnomeland or Kabouterland where all is good, life is simple and where there are no events of major importance. In Kabouterland there are no wars - kabouters do not fight -, they have no money so no mean kabouter-bankers or financial crises either, they are extremely conservative and will do anything to keep life the way it always has been. Generally, kabouters worry very little, because there is nothing to worry about. Consequently they talk about things we humans would consider trivial, which is probably not that surprising given the fact that they are very small and therefore bound to operate on a rather small scale.

Arguably, the same small-scale type of discussions sometimes occur in small countries. Like Dutchland, dubbed Kabouterland by my grandfather from time to time due to trivial discussions held in Parliament or other nit-picking on the part of national institutions. For example, a recently held discussion in the Dutch national parliament on the impact of the transport of plastic water bottles on the environment. Although this is bad, it has been worse. Two years ago Parliament felt the the need to step in when one of the TV channels decided to pull the plug on the longest running gameshow in the country.

When Holland's most famous couple broke up, it was an item on the eight o'clock news. The Prime Minister even commented on this tragic event. Has he no other things to worry about I wonder? Of course, it is very sad when two people end their relationship but honestly, there are people being killed, tortured and exploited on this planet. We're in a global recession, at war in Afghanistan and the climate is changing. Prime ministers are elected to run the country and consequently to cooperate with other leaders to help addressing international crises. I doubt worrying about the get-togethers, break-ups and back-stabbing in the national world of glitter and glamour are part of the job description.

As much as I am disgusted about the Kabouterlandesque features of this country, I am also quite surprised we still expect to be taken seriously internationally. Despite its size, Dutchland is trying very hard to be considered and pretends to be relatively important in the international arena. In Europe, the Dutch wag their Calvinistic finger at France and Germany whenever given the chance. Usually it's about money. Despite the fact that Dutchland is very small, we apparently feel we can preach moralistically to our big European brothers. Meanwhile, the politicians in The Hague are dancing with joy whenever the G20 Summit invitation arrives - it's almost as if we count! - and the Ministry of Defence is showing off its high-quality material in Afghanistan and Iraq. It is said the Canadians and Australians are green with jealousy and only dreaming of getting the newest and the best destructive toys to play with.

At the same time, we have a Prime Minister commenting on a break-up of two people who happen to be known and a national Parliament discussing a crisis in Sesame street and plastic water bottles. How do we expect to be taken seriously outside if these things happen inside? I doubt Mrs. Merkel involves herself in a glitter-break-up. I don't think President Obama spends time thinking about Sesame street. And I'm quite sure Sarkozy does not mention plastic water bottles in his speeches. In Dutchland, these are matters of national importance. Kabouterland. Still, we don't have a president who sleeps during a memorial service at the occasion of the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall and has affairs with eighteen-year-olds.