January again. Another year gone by, a new one starting. Like a year ago the initial excitement over the endless possibilities a new year potentially brings, quickly evaporate as soon as I switch on my computer and read immediately over people being killed by a bomb in Pakistan. And so this time round, being somewhat cut off from festivity by being in a small village in the French countryside, the old makes way for the new in a rather quiet way. No fireworks, no champagne. No Abba on the radio. In the French countryside, life just goes on. If a bit strange at first, it is actually quite pleasant not to get worked up about a new year.
What's more, I have no high hopes for 2011. It is an odd number and I have no particular feeling about this year. Besides, good things should not happen in a year that ends in 11. I would get on my nerves as I am rather perculiar about numbers. Let me explain. Even numbers are better than odd ones. Except odds that end in 5. Those are good. But it being a 1 year, nothing exceptional ought to happen. Luckily, so far, it hasn't, even though things look better than a year ago. I have a job. My own flat and by this time next year, a car. Hopefully. Added up, perhaps this is exceptional. I am finally earning a living and I would never have thought a year ago that I would consider buying a car in the relatively near future. However, things would not be right if I was entirely satisfied and happy. Not that I am particularly unhappy, but suddenly, it is rather daunting to spend several years in one place, doing the same job. My sister said a while back that I had not yet settled down. I realise now that perhaps I haven't.
I can stay here, but I am not certain I want to. There are other exciting places to go to. More languages to learn. New people to meet. If you leave, there is always the possibility of better than before. Or worse. In any case, it will be different. I worry I have come to crave difference. New experiences. That I find it difficult to stay in one place. It being a new year however, perhaps it is something I should try. To stay. For a year at least. If I can...
